Cinco De Mayo The Slurred Holiday
Happy day after star wars day everyone! Even though most people have no idea what this day even means except for Mexicans and people who pretend to know what it means like flip flopping politicians that just want to be "one with the people". Yes, Obama apparently its more than acceptable to talk about American immigration on a day that was based around the Mexican battle of Puebla against French invaders, I mean.... I'm not Mexican...
I depart, after all today's probably one of the most important days of an average American's life, the day that they can drink beer, get hammered drunk, fuck Jesus and pretend their Latino by renting donkeys and buying sombreros, and repeating phrases like "Hola!", "Quiero cerveza", and the always wonderful "Mira carajo, necesito orinar, apurarse gue avanza". I mean occasions like this only happens about twice a year, Cinco De Mayo, Halloween. If you're Mexican, everyday is Cinco De Mayo, but why do blacks and whites have to be left out, right?
Tsk Tsk, So much for equality.
You know, I've always enjoyed Cinco De Mayo, when I was younger it gave me the chance to take abuse out of my fathers wallet where I would ask him for some money, wait after he drank some alcohol and then asked for more... It was perfect.... He didn't suspect a thing.. In the morning he would be like "where's my money" and I'll be like "I'm not sure, papi, look at all the cases of beer and tequila you bought, by the way... can I get some money"... Genius! Ahh yes Cinco De Mayo.... the thieves holiday.
Ever been to a bar and stole someones drink as they left it there... I mean clearly it's their fault for leaving such a needed to be drunk object on the bar, clearly.
I can't seem to notice that people have to justify their compulsive spending on beers and failed attempts to pick up people at bars on holiday's that had nothing to do about them. Not that there's anything wrong with that... 420 anyone.... anyone?
I digress, soon the hangover will be coming, and I'll be all relaxed.... after reading this blog post over again I'm surprised I haven't failldiooasdhgoahovoheoaghn.asodn. Guurrrnite errboody!