I've been thinking a lot lately, not necessarily in positive thoughts or negative ones. I feel like my mind is in limbo, trying to figure out whether I should pack up my things and work extremely hard or if I should party hardy, and fuck the bullshit (of course not forgetting my duties). My mind is stuck on pause, as I'm going throughout my day on autopilot pretty much. Engaging in few conversations with friends, and then actually being enthused in others. My only escapes have been me playing piano, and reading, generally watching YouTube videos, and yet I feel discouraged to leave my routine life. Not that I do anything wrong, but I want some excitement, I want some pleasure.
Obviously working in school provides neither, but maybe I should concentrate on school heavily? Forget the friends, and concentrate on my closest friendships around me and do study group sessions and what not. I'm not entirely sure.
Of course, I'm the kind of guy that likes to go out, enjoy the town, parties, clubs. It seems I always have the best time with the people that are here with me in present times, however in my house everything is quiet within the household while the world is calling, playing loud music, and yells of excitement and togetherness.
Eventually, I know I'll figure out what I need to do. I've been changing it up by actually exercising, especially working on my chest. I've been feeling more confident, a lot less down, and hell even my abs have improved quite a bit, woot woot. I'll figure out what I want soon...